


Solving the Cancer Enigma

by UnravelMe



Category: Skins (UK)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4947049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnravelMe/pseuds/UnravelMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - my personal remedy to Skins Fire.<br/>Naomi has terminal cancer and agrees to be part of a clinical trial where she meets Emily, a young PhD working alongside the doctors. Their connection is apparent and Emily starts to question whether it is a good idea to feel this strongly about a patient, or woman... </p><p>I just hated Skins Fire, so, SO much. It literally broke my heart and I just had to do something to fix it. Since I work in cancer research, this happened...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 - Consent
> 
> Naomi has cancer, Cook is MIA (literally) and Emily has a boyfriend (!!! bear with me).

_I have to be strong for her, I have to be strong for her._ She had been repeating that mantra to herself ever since Naomi had been whisked away for yet another examination. This morning’s news had left her completely numb and she was functioning solely on autopilot. Three months ago, Naomi had called her in the middle of the night, screaming in pain. She had been forced to call an ambulance for her daughter and had jumped in her car, immediately heading for London. The four hour drive from Bristol had taken far less but the thought of Naomi alone, in pain and terrified mattered more than sticking to the confinements of speed limits. By the time she had arrived, nurses had already taken numerous samples and several doctors had questioned Naomi but without letting her know why she was in so much pain. A morphine drip had been keeping the pain under control but even then, Gina knew her daughter was in a lot of pain. Naomi was, and always had been, a stubborn child and even during a time of utter distress, she refused to show the doctors any signs of weakness.

The first signs of her illness had been very diffuse; some unexpected lightheadedness, stomach pain and a state of exhaustion that was in strong contrast to Naomi’s usual go-get-them attitude. However, it had started during her finals and had been chalked up to the stress of finishing a degree. There was no doubt in Gina’s mind that she would ever forgive herself for brushing it off through such generic reasoning. The support groups she had visited during the last few months all mentioned the same thing – how crucial it was for the doctors to discover the disease early. In retrospect, three months probably would not have made the biggest difference but then again, the possibility existed that it might have. After spending a few days in hospital, the results from the excessive testing had come back with every mother’s greatest fear; cancer. Both a variety of doctors and nurses wearing grim expressions had already explained that there was a great risk of it being cancer and it hardly came as a shock in the end. 

Immediately, Naomi had been given chemo –and external radiation therapy and was spending more time in a hospital bed than at home or at work. She had never really gotten the chance to sink her teeth into her new position at the firm but her bosses had been supportive and still sent flowers to her hospital room every Friday. She had been working there as a paralegal while finishing law school and was guaranteed a position as a junior associate the minute she finished her degree. She was supposedly on sick-leave but due to the great relationship she had with the firm, they were still paying her a full salary. For all intents and purposes, she had been working “from home” during these past months. Their continued support meant a lot to Naomi even if she would never admit to it. She had tried to prevent them from fussing over her, telling them that that was what her mother was for but her colleagues would hear none of it. Someone from the office stopped by once a week and kept Naomi up to speed on the current gossip as well as any big work-related news. There was no way of knowing but Gina suspected that her daughter as though everything was going to be alright was helping her cope with the situation.

In the beginning Gina had been going back and forth between Bristol and London. Every time Naomi had a chemo-session, she had taken leave from work and driven down. At the height of each therapy cycle, the side effects left Naomi so weak that she could not get out of bed without help. Once she realized the severity of the situation, Gina had quit her job, sold their old house and moved into Naomi’s apartment in London. Her child needed her mother and nothing in the world could stop her from being by Naomi’s side. In the past, Gina had not always been the best of mothers. During Naomi’s early childhood, Gina had gone through a lot of different phases and let a lot of strange people into Naomi’s life. Men had come and gone in her life and, by default, also in Naomi’s. Thankfully, most of them disappeared before they had had a chance to make an impact on her daughter’s life. Now, almost twenty-five years later, Gina was all too aware that she had not always put her daughter’s interests first, although in all fairness Naomi had never been the type to be babied and protected. She had always been so independent and stubborn and had stopped asking for help with her schoolwork before she turned eight. 

During Naomi’s early teens, their house had turned into a communal living facility and she really had had little privacy in her life. She had spent most of her time doing volunteer work for the homeless or working part time. She had always complained that she needed the extra money so that she could “get the fuck out of there ASAP”. All of the extra work had panned out when Naomi was accepted to one of the top legal programs in the country. Looking back, it had been of a stroke of luck, since Gina’s relationship with her independent, strongminded daughter became strained toward the end. The distance had improved their relationship greatly during Naomi’s first years at Uni. She had always been so protective of her personal life and the only friend of hers that Gina had met more than once was Cook. Moving to London had matured the both of them and Naomi had slowly started sharing her life with the only family she had, her mother. During her second year, she had shown up for Easter and surprisingly announced that she had brought someone home with her. Sarah was her name and Naomi had presented her, quite proudly, as her girlfriend. Gina had been a bit taken aback and had felt more than a little daft that she had not connected the dots sooner. It was like all the little pieces that made up the puzzle that was her daughter all of a sudden fell into place. After her proclamation, Naomi had taken Sarah upstairs with her to unpack their things and Gina had actually shed a few tears. The sheer pride and happiness of finally feeling as though Naomi had allowed her back into her life was by far the most heartening thing Naomi had ever done for her mother. Since then, she had confided in her repeatedly and Gina had learned that Naomi was not inexperienced in interacting with the opposite sex but that she had understood at age sixteen that being gay was a real possibility. It had taken her affection for Sarah to truly embrace it but had still kept it a secret for an entire year. As it had turned out, the issue had nothing to do with Gina’s reaction as much as not wanting to introduce Sarah before she was certain it was going to be a long term relationship. It had devastated Gina, knowing that her own shortcomings when it came to long term relationships had made her daughter careful of repeating her mistake. Naomi had always kept everyone at an arm’s length, the only true constant in her life during the last ten years, being her friendship with Cook. He had been a troubled child and had gotten into trouble both at school and with the law at a young age. It was the only way to generate any type of response or reaction from his estranged mother and most of the time, her response was to send him more money. So he had become a regular fixture at the Campbell house and at times, it felt as though he spent as much time there as Gina did herself. For the longest time, she had thought he and Naomi were a couple and kept dropping hints so her daughter would finally admit to it. As it turns out, they never were, although she had always suspected that Cook was in love with Naomi. He was not really the type to neither fall nor stay in love but Naomi was the only constant thing in his life and Gina knew he loved her daughter dearly. A couple of weeks ago, during one of her chemo-sessions, Naomi had admitted that they had in fact once tried to see if there was more to them than friendship, but she had thought the whole thing was not right and could not go through with it.

He got himself expelled from college during the second year and went a little crazy, almost getting himself thrown in jail. His lawyer struck a deal and he ended up in a military school where discipline was first on the agenda, all day - every day. Turns out that was what he needed to stay on the straight and narrow and he found the entire thing inspiring and eventually joined the army the day after his eighteenth birthday. He was currently stationed in Afghanistan and they had not been able to reach him for months now. Both Gina and Naomi kept leaving messages for him but he had yet to respond to any of them. Naomi was of course worried sick that he had gotten himself killed since he neglected to get back to her. Cook had stated Naomi as his emergency contact, so if and when he got himself hurt or killed, at least they should hear about it quickly. His absence did little to reassure Naomi and only added to her increasing exhaustion. Gina understood the urgency of getting in touch with Cook. Not only was it of great importance to Naomi to know he was safe but, more importantly, Gina knew that Cook would never get over her dying if he did not get a chance to say goodbye. She honestly was not too confident that Cook would survive it either way. 

This morning was supposed to be the start of a new chemo-cycle but after meeting with her oncologist, plans had changed. The chemo was not working and new metastases had shown up on Naomi’s scans. There was nothing more they could do for her except do their very best to improve her quality of life, however short that life was going to be. They had taken her away to get some fluids drained from her abdomen, leaving Gina with a bit of peace to gather her wits. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and checked her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She removed some smudged mascara and forced a smile, repeating her mantra yet again; _I have to be strong for her._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

She had been up half the night fighting with Jeremy and was late to the Monday group meeting. Jeremy had once again brought up the fact that Emily was spending more time at the lab or the hospital during the weekends than with him. Technically, he was right. She had been spending more hours at the lab than at home these days, but in her defense, an important clinical trial was about to start and their group was not quite ready yet. Clocking in some extra hours during weekends had been helping them prepare and Emily had tried to explain to Jeremy that once the trial got underway, everything was going to go back to normal. She would only be working a normal week, nine-to-five-ish, and would not have to bring work home either. Getting ready for a clinical trial was always overwhelming and they had only gotten the approval a few weeks ago, leaving them with precious little time to prepare. Kieran of course, being the eternal optimist, had already been scanning the hospitals of London for potential subjects. There were currently ten patients on the short list, all of whom were terminal.  
She ran up the spiral staircase and finally joined her colleagues, panting and visibly sweating. “Sorry guys”, she managed to huff out between gasps of air, holding up one hand in apology whilst finding a seat.  
“We were actually waiting for you, Emily.” Kieran smiled, the excitement of today’s importance showing all over his bearded face. She could not help but return the smile and was happy that he thought she was important enough to wait for before starting the meeting. “We need the purification data you compiled this weekend”, he continued and Emily’s smile disappeared. They were not actually waiting for her because she was a crucial member of the team but because they needed her results. _I’m such a schmuck._

“Right, sorry”, she mumbled and got out a file from her bag, handing it to him. He studied it thoroughly and kept nodding to himself. When he finished, he looked up and smiled at the group.  
“Let’s get this thing rolling!”, he exclaimed as he slammed the file shut, his Australian accent slightly more evident than usual. That tended to happen when he got either really excited or devastatingly upset. Emily had never heard him sound like the full-blooded Australian that she knew he was until the day they finally received approval for the trial. He had actually picked her up and twirled her like a child while laughing and speaking some Australian gibberish. It had been the best day in months and they had all gone out to celebrate, a huge weight having been lifted off their shoulders. 

Kieran dimmed the lights and started his power point presentation describing each patient down to the slightest detail; full body scans showing the approximate size and location of metastases, the primary tumor and a detailed medical history, including biopsy results and responses to previous treatments. All patients were different ages and had different stories but had two things in common; they were terminal and suffering from neuroendocrine cancer. About half had pancreatic cancer and these represented the most severe cases, all rippled with metastases, both local and distant. Kieran distributed copies of the patient files and they went through them one by one. The morning meeting ran through lunch as the discussion carried on and after a quick, emphasis on quick, bite to eat, Emily joined Kieran and another young doctor in a cab and went to visit the first patient on the list.  
By late afternoon, they had gotten consent from eight out of nine patients and even though Kieran was disappointed they would not reach a perfect ten out of ten, it had been a rewarding day. The last patient Emily needed little help remembering. Her name alone had made an impression and Kieran had had to explain that it was not actually Naomi Campbell, 42, world famous supermodel, but Naomi Campbell, 23, lawyer and currently dying from an aggressive pancreatic cancer. They arrived at St. Mary’s and went straight to their oncology department where Naomi’s oncologist was waiting for them with the results of her latest PET/CT-scan. After a brief discussion about the mental state of the patient, the oncologist took them to her room. 

The doctor knocked softly on the door as he opened it. “Gina?”, he whispered. A forty-something woman with sandy hair sitting in the lounger by the bed looked up at him with a curious expression. The room was dark, with the blinds down and lights off. Naomi herself was lying on her side facing away from the door. “Is she asleep?”, the doctor whispered. 

“No”, Naomi answered, “I’m not.” They followed the doctor into the room as Naomi slowly turned in order to face them. “What’s all this then?”, she asked, her voice slightly strained from the pain of moving into a sitting position.

“Miss Campbell, Mrs. Campbell,” Kieran nodded to the both of them, “My name is Kieran and I am a doctor and a scientist. This fine young man is JJ, he’s a brilliant doctor and next to him is Emily who is a brilliant scientist.”, he explained while gesturing towards us. Gina smiled warmly but Naomi remained unimpressed and unresponsive. Kieran continued, “Our research focuses on neuroendocrine tumors and we are currently starting a clinical trial to further understand and hopefully improve treatment options for patients like you, Naomi.” Kieran shot her his most earnest of smiles but still, the young woman was impassive. That did little to deter Kieran as he rounded up his proposal, “I would like to offer you the unique opportunity to help future victims of your devastating disease by joining our clinical trial.” 

Despite light flowing in through the open door, the room was still quite dark and Emily had not been able to see neither Naomi’s nor Gina’s faces clearly. As Kieran finished his speech, Gina turned on the lamp next to the bed and took her daughter’s hand in a supportive gesture before answering, “but Naomi has pancreatic cancer, not this neuro-whatever-it-was.”

Kieran opened his mouth to reply but Naomi beat him to it, sounding slightly exasperated. “Mum, pancreatic cancer is neuroendocrine cancer.” 

“You are indeed correct, Miss Campbell, and quite clever, I might add.”, JJ offered and smiled. Coming from anyone other than JJ, it could have sounded false but his honest, good-natured guise somehow transformed it into a compliment. Naomi slowly turned her head towards the door and her face came into full view. Emily swallowed a gasp as the air was suddenly sucked from the room the minute Naomi’s blue eyes met hers. Naomi did not seem to notice Emily’s distress and instead awarded JJ a small smile for his compliment. The smile made Emily feel a desperate need to grab hold of something to keep her steady. The young woman’s eyes were extraordinary; light-azure in color, they became radiant once her small smile reached them. JJ must have been just as taken aback by their beautiful power as Emily gathered her wits long enough to notice her colleague’s cheeks reddening slightly under her gaze. 

“Would it make her worse?”, Gina asked, “The chemo was horrible and she has been so much better since they stopped it.” Kieran regarded her with a sad look. 

“Yes, chemotherapy can be truly horrible to the body”, he answered, taking a step towards Naomi’s bed. “Which is why we want to improve our treatment options. We are not here to torment you further and we are not here to give you false hope. This trial involves testing a new way of delivering radiation to the tumors, killing the cancer, hopefully without damaging any normal organs or tissues.” Kieran had closed the remaining distance between himself and Naomi and his exaltation was clearly visible. “If our hypothesis proves true, it will be an unprecedented breakthrough in radioimmuno-targeting.” He lost them there, Emily could see it in their faces. She stepped in.

“It’s a way of using the cancer cells against themselves”, she explained, stepping forward in the process. Naomi turned her eyes to regard her and Emily once again had to steady herself, this time using the railing at the foot of Naomi’s bed. _What is wrong with me today?_ She pulled herself together and offered the young woman what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “By utilizing how they differ from normal cells and using radiation, to stop them from growing or, in the best case scenario, kill them.”

Naomi was quiet, her eyes seemingly studying Emily, and she started faltering under the scrutinizing gaze. Naomi let her eyes wander from Emily’s hair to her lips before once again connecting with her eyes. A sly smile suddenly appeared on Naomi’s lips and Emily felt the blush she had seen on JJ a moment ago, creeping into her cheeks.

“Alright”, Naomi finally said, releasing Emily from her hold, “What exactly would I have to do?” 

Kieran absolutely lit up and the Australian accent reappeared as he started to explain the layout of the clinical trial. Gina smiled at him and seemed to focus all of her attention on him, whereas Naomi was listening intently but every now and again, her eyes drifted to Emily, effectively taking her breath away.


	2. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily can't seem to get Naomi out of her head and REALLY wants an excuse to go see her.

Once everything was set in motion, Kieran and JJ quickly got each of the nine patients transferred to the facilities at King’s College. Due to the severity of their illnesses, time was not to be wasted as each and every one of them could take a turn for the worse at any moment and affect the outcome of the study. Emily was hoping for at least three full cycles before pausing to assess the results and determine the potential toxicity of the treatment. Kieran, of course, was hoping to run the full seven cycles but he had only ever voiced that to Emily once and in confidence. 

The patients had been paired up according to age but since there was a total of nine patients, one patient would have to endure the next few months without company. Seeing as Naomi was a very young woman compared to the other patients and had her mother by her side at most hours of the day, Kieran had decided she would be happier on her own. 

Naomi had been transferred on Tuesday and Emily was looking at some of her recent results. She really was the perfect candidate for the trial and Emily knew that Kieran’s heart was bleeding a little extra for her. She was very young to have such an aggressive NET (neuroendocrine tumor) and since she had been diagnosed only a few months ago, she was headed towards a very untimely and painful death.

A pilot study such as the one they were preparing for, didn’t offer much hope for the participants. There was simply no way of knowing how or if the tumors would respond, and Emily was always very careful when explaining the goals of the trial to the patients and their loved ones. False hope was unacceptable but on the other hand, there was a reason they were doing the trial and why Kieran was so excited about it.

Naomi had been a constant companion in Emily’s mind since their first meeting. She had gone home that night in a haze and was thankful that Jeremy was away on business again. Oddly enough, in Jeremy’s mind, his being away a week at a time on business was quite different than Emily staying late at the hospital a couple of nights a week. She had never really gotten the distinction and Emily couldn’t help but feel a little bitter since all they seemed to do lately was fight about her absence. She had taken copies of the patient files home and had studied them thoroughly, treating herself to a glass of wine. Somehow, Emily found herself spending excessive time on Naomi’s file, while going over their meeting in her head. The memory of Naomi’s piercing eyes haunted her, which wasn’t unusual as Emily too had a bleeding heart even if it had presented itself quite differently this time. She had tried and failed to recall the rest of Naomi’s face several times and had resorted to simply reliving the sensation being around Naomi had caused. 

For some yet to be determined reason, Emily found the young woman utterly captivating. Technically, they had yet to have a conversation but Emily felt as if she already knew and cared for her. Although, the fact that she was Emily’s age alongside knowing her entire medical history and with that, a lot of intimate details, could probably result in that. 

The preparations for the trial had been keeping Emily busy into the late hours of the night but her mind kept drifting back to Naomi. It was becoming a distraction and a borderline obsession. Emily couldn’t help but feel a desperate need to satisfy her growing curiosity and was anxiously awaiting a reason to pay Naomi a visit. This data at hand finally offered that. 

Emily quickly gathered her things, as she would be finally be leaving for the night after seeing Naomi. Jeremy wasn’t back until Saturday so Emily had Friday night off and her sister Katie was hosting a dinner party that she had declined earlier but Katie had begged her for at least one drink later in the evening. To avoid looking like the dull scientist amongst her sister’s high-fashion friends, Emily had actually put a little effort into her appearance and wasn’t wearing the traditional lab-coat when she reached Naomi’s room. 

She knocked softly before entering and expected Gina, Naomi’s ever present mother to greet her. The woman was however, nowhere to be seen and Naomi was once again lying on her side with her back to the door. After a short moment of hesitation, Emily walked across the room to the bed and stood before Naomi. She could only just make out the soft features of the young woman’s face and quickly deduced that this time, Naomi was indeed sleeping. Her lips were parted slightly, her breathing heavy and steady. 

Emily checked the morphine pump and decided that it wasn’t the cause of the young woman’s slumber. She was probably just exhausted. Emily knew that the metastases in Naomi’s abdomen were making it difficult for her to sleep through the night and the morphine was little or no help anymore.

Emily checked her watch. _Half past six._ She still had time and really wanted to deliver the good news to Naomi and decided to wait for a bit. She took a seat in the lounger facing the bed and spent a little more time relishing in Naomi’s sleeping face. Her azure eyes were currently hidden under soft eyelids with long eyelashes and yet, the sleeping, young woman was mesmerizing. Without realizing it, an hour had passed and there was no sign of her coming to. Still, Emily remained glued to that chair, unable to let go of her slight obsession. 

Luckily, an orderly came to serve Naomi her dinner and the young woman finally stirred. Naomi slowly reached out and flipped the light switch for the lamp on the nightstand and gasped as her eyes adjusted to the light and settled on Emily. 

///

She was back. _Emily._ The stunning researcher who had spoken to her like a human being and not a test subject. Naomi had secretly been hoping she would see her again but the woman’s absence all week had made her relinquish that hope. Since Kieran had moved her to King’s College the day after their first visit, Naomi had been visited by both doctors several times since then. They had made a great point of explaining everything again and JJ had lost himself in supplying an excess of details about cancer progression and how Naomi’s illness differed from other cancer types. While she considered herself quite smart, Naomi had not been able to keep up and in the end, both her and her mother had given up all hope of following JJ’s train of thought. Her mother, of course, had spent most of her time making flirty eyes at Kieran anyway, who seemed to return them tenfold. At the end of their last visit earlier today, Gina had actually surprised the man by pulling him into an embrace. Naomi smiled at the memory of his surprised face and her mother’s flushed cheeks as she let him go. _She’ll need someone once I’m gone._ Immediately, the smile on her face disappeared as the grim reality hit once again. The beautiful woman in front of Naomi frowned in concern. 

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to startle you,” Emily apologized, genuine concern eminent in her voice and face. _Such a stunning face… Jesus, Naomi, stop it!_

Naomi shook her head. “You didn’t. Well, you did, but in a nice way.” She tried adding a smile but remembered how emaciated her face was looking these days and realized it probably came out more as a grimace as opposed to an actual smile.

Emily surprised her by smiling back, although it never fully reached her deep, dark eyes. Naomi was actually thankful that Kieran and JJ had visited so often because she honestly couldn’t remember anything from that first meeting aside from the words ‘clinical trial, pancreatic cancer and you’. The rest was a huge blur circling around the distinct memory of an exquisite creature standing by her footrest. Naomi remembered locking eyes with the young woman just as JJ had offered her that cheesy, yet endearing compliment. Emily hadn’t actually done or said anything at that point but Naomi still felt the all too familiar fluttering of the butterflies she had given up all hope for, knowing her abdomen was full of metastases. Naomi had observed the same sensation mirrored in those mesmerizing dark eyes as Emily momentarily averted her gaze and put a hand to the wall, steadying herself. When she had spoken for the first time, Naomi’s tired heart had started to pound in her chest and she was momentarily thankful that she was no longer hooked up to a heart monitor. Emily’s voice was deep and husky and every bit equal to her gorgeous face and Naomi had known right then and there that she was in trouble. So, _so_ much trouble. 

Aside from the woman obviously being straight or at least believed that she was and the fact that Naomi was her patient, there was of course the slight inconvenience of Naomi dying within a few months. Naomi had pondered which of the issues offered the greatest obstacle but quickly realized that her dying was pretty much the deal-breaker.

Suddenly realizing that none of them had spoken for quite a while, Naomi cleared her throat. “So, Emily, was it? What brings you by?”

At her question, Emily’s demeanor changed and Naomi saw the scientist in the young woman reemerging. Emily had a file resting across her knees, which she now opened and laid across Naomi’s lap, pointing out a certain table. Naomi really didn’t know what it meant but she desperately didn’t want to seem like an idiot either. She stared at the page for what seemed like an eternity, trying to figure out what the fuck she was looking at. 

“It’s your renal score,” Emily explained, smiling. 

Naomi looked up at her with a quirked eyebrow. The young researcher smiled again and this time it reached all the way up to her wonderful eyes. Naomi felt a little warmth in her cheeks, which she quickly surmised must have been apparent since she was currently so pale that she was barely discernable from the white sheets of the hospital bed. 

Emily however, carried on and probably hadn’t noticed the heat in Naomi’s cheeks. “It means your kidneys are in tip-top shape, which means…”

“Which means you can treat the hell out of me,” Naomi interrupted, actually feeling a bit excited.

“Exactly!” Emily exclaimed, equally excited. She stood and took the file back, smiling warmly down at Naomi. “JJ said you were clever so I thought you might be interested in seeing this yourself.” Emily’s excitement was growing and her eyes were glowing. “Come Monday, you will be moved to the isolation wing and you will start your first treatment cycle, at the highest dose we feel comfortable with.” 

Naomi wasn’t really sure how to react to that but Emily was absolutely adorable in her exited state, practically beaming, and Naomi found herself once again being reminded that she was in deep, deep trouble here. It had been a long time since any medical professional had given her actual good news and even though she knew that her disease was still going to best her, Naomi couldn’t help but feel a little reassured. She smiled warmly and reached out and placed her hand on Emily’s.

“Thank you.”

///

Emily felt the energy course through her before she felt the actual sensation of Naomi’s hand resting on top of her own. The energy rippled through her before setting off an army of butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach all of a sudden. 

Naomi was smiling at her and their eyes were locked, reminding Emily of the power those piercing, blue eyes possessed. Her face was expressing genuine gratitude but there was something else, something Emily couldn’t quite define but it was pulling her closer. Emily felt her hand respond to Naomi’s touch and unconsciously turned it slightly to allow herself to fully hold the young woman’s hand. Somehow, Emily’s hand had taken control of the situation and started stroking a thumb gently across the back of Naomi’s hand, wondering at the softness of it. _What am I doing?_ Emily forced herself to break the spell, regretfully letting go of Naomi’s hand in the process.

She cleared her throat, needing a minute to reclaim her professionalism. _Honestly, Emily, what are you thinking?_

“Anyway, I should be getting out of your hair.” Emily nodded towards the dinner tray placed on the table next to Naomi. “Enjoy your dinner.” 

She felt like an idiot but really couldn’t think of anything to say since the only thing currently occupying her mind was remembering the sensation of having Naomi’s hand in hers. Emily took a step back and turned towards the chair, picking up her jacket.

“Got a hot date?” Naomi asked in an oddly playful tone.

“As a matter of fact, I do!” Emily replied, smiling as she turned around to face the bed. “With this _smoking_ hot brunette with fantastic brown eyes, the cutest little button-nose and a hilarious lisp that makes my heart flutter.” She purposefully emphasized the word ‘smoking’ and noticed Naomi frowning slightly. “There’s just this one, tiny issue…” Emily sighed, feigning despair. Naomi raised an inquiring eyebrow, urging her to continue.  
“She’s my twin sister,” Emily finished and threw her hands up in mock hopelessness.

Naomi’s face went through a few stages of realization before she started giggling. “That is indeed a problem…”

She had the most endearing giggle and looked adorable when she had to cover her mouth with a hand as the giggle turned into laughter. The butterflies in Emily’s stomach were having a field day, spreading upward to her heart. 

“So not a date then?” Naomi asked once her laughter had died out.

Emily grinned and shook her head. “No, though I am meeting my sister for drinks.”

Naomi suddenly tilted her head back, closed her eyes and let out a loud groan. Emily immediately rushed to her side, reaching for her hand, worried that Naomi was suddenly in an enormous amount of pain. 

“Ugghh! Alcohol! Oh, how I miss thee!” The young woman exclaimed and Emily stopped in her tracks, feeling quite silly for worrying. 

Naomi opened her eyes, smiling but as she saw Emily’s self-conscious expression and close proximity, the smile faded. “I supposed I shouldn’t really let out cries like that when I’m dying in a hospital bed, should I?” She looked almost ashamed and fiddled a little with her hands.

Emily smiled reassuringly, reached out and patted Naomi’s shoulder lightly. “I’m just relieved you weren’t in any pain.” 

Naomi looked up at her, a sad expression spreading across her beautiful face. “Still, sorry about that.” She paused briefly. “And I am, you know. In pain.” 

Tears were forming in her eyes and Emily could tell she was fighting to keep them from emerging. The mood in the room had gone from light and flirty back to the bitter reality of Naomi’s dire situation in a matter of seconds. The young woman looked away, ashamed.

Whether it was her bleeding heart or the odd, instant familiarity or something entirely different, was unclear. All Emily knew was that she felt a desperate need to make Naomi feel better, make her giggle and laugh again but she was at a loss for words. Naomi’s head was turned away from her and she was biting her lip to keep from crying. 

Emily didn’t hesitate. She sat down on the bed, leaned towards Naomi and reached out and placed two fingers on the young woman’s chin, turning her face back towards her. A stray tear was running down her cheek and Emily gently wiped it away with a thumb and continued to stroke Naomi’s cheek for a while, relishing in the softness of her skin. 

Naomi smiled shyly and their eyes locked for the second time that night. It instantly made Emily aware of their close proximity. She was still leaning towards Naomi, their faces now suddenly unnervingly close. Her hand was resting on Naomi’s cheek and as Emily gazed into her shining eyes, she felt herself leaning closer. Naomi’s eyes quickly drifted to Emily’s lips before returning to her eyes and Emily realized she was utterly and completely powerless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this Clexa heartbreak recently reminded me so much of Naomily that I finally got around to rewriting this chapter from the first person POV it was originally written in. It's a lot harder than I thought, though. And all I really want to do, is fix Lexa. But I don't know how to heal a deadly bullet wound. I also don't have a Clexa fic, but I digress..

**Author's Note:**

> So! I have 60k words of this story on ff.net but in the first person alongside the first Skins fic I wrote. I know that ff.net is bigger in terms of the Skins Fandom, so I'm not sure I'll continue the rewrite.. I just wanted to give it a go since I was bored at work tonight. I guess time will tell!


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